Voice of a Strong Military | How Great Is the Power of "Affirmation"
How Great Is the Power of "Affirmation"
■ Ma Jiong
"I can see your wings have hardened — then you can fly even higher." "Look at other people's children — none of them are as capable as you; you're truly outstanding." … Recently, a series of parent-child videos featuring "reverse call-and-response" went viral across the internet, prompting netizens to reflect on traditional models of education. In the videos, parents pretend to deliver the first half of a cutting, dismissive remark, and the child completes the second half — but unexpectedly, the children's responses run counter to convention, brimming with positive affirmation.
"Pointing out ten faults in a person is no match for praising one strength." There is a concept in the field of education known as the "Rosenthal Effect": when educators hold greater confidence in and goodwill toward those they educate, the latter are likely to make greater progress; conversely, their initiative and creativity will be constrained. Yet a survey by the China Youth Daily Social Survey Center found that among 2,006 young people aged 18 to 35, a full 90.6 percent admitted they had been subjected to verbal "knock-down education" (打击式教育) by their parents, and 59.7 percent believed this style of education causes children to lack self-confidence and to be prone to self-negation.
Mountains have their stories, rivers have their verses, clouds have their ethereal quality, and the beauty each manifests is different. The desire to receive recognition, encouragement, and appreciation is human nature. Shakespeare said: "Praise is the sunlight that shines on the human soul. Without sunlight, we cannot grow." For children in their formative years, growing up in an educational environment where their emotions receive no empathy and their worth receives no affirmation makes it difficult to develop a well-rounded character. The reason the "reverse call-and-response" videos move people is that they break with the habitual discipline and pressure found in certain parent-child education practices of the past, allowing people to see that the power of "affirmation" is also great.
Young officers and soldiers of the new era are accustomed to "life at their fingertips" and prefer "equal-footing communication." From them, one can clearly sense "a different kind of spark" (不一样的烟火): they are knowledgeable and wide-ranging in their interests, strong in individuality and sensitive at heart, eager to express themselves, and hungry for respect. Yet in reality, certain unit leaders always scrutinize officers and soldiers with a fault-finding eye, feeling that they are "riddled with problems." Their habitual refrain is "Nothing like the soldiers of the old days — each generation is worse than the last," with "not good, not capable, not enough" constantly on their lips, and "today's soldiers are getting harder and harder to lead" at the drop of a hat.
"Good soldiers are praised into being." Maslow's hierarchy of needs tells us that every person has certain needs for material interests, a desire for growth, a pursuit of honor, and a pursuit of the spirit. For young officers and soldiers, sometimes no amount of material care can substitute for humanistic care, and no scale of material investment can substitute for emotional investment. From something as large as a commendation or a promotion, to something as small as a warm word or an affectionate smile — all of these can, through gradual and imperceptible influence, give young officers and soldiers confidence and strength.
Chairman Xi, at the Central Military Commission Conference on Grassroots Development, emphasized the need to view grassroots officers and soldiers through eyes of trust, appreciation, and development. Leaders at all levels should show more smiles and fewer frowns, say "we" more and "you all" less, walk over to people more and summon them less, offer more guidance and less blame — listening to what is in their hearts, responding to their concerns, and using every form and every opportunity to help young soldiers build confidence in the face of setbacks, recover motivation in the face of difficulties, lift their spirits through affirmation, strengthen their self-confidence through praise, and invigorate their fighting will (斗志) through encouragement.
Of course, valuing the power of "affirmation" does not mean unprincipled fence-sitting (和稀泥). Rather, it means adding a measure of "human warmth" on the premise of strict demands and management, unifying strict requirements with care and concern. In particular, when it comes to the shortcomings and deficiencies of young officers and soldiers, unit leaders should also, in a spirit of goodwill toward others, conduct criticism that is heartfelt and well-reasoned, sincerely helping comrades build confidence, surpass themselves, and pursue excellence.